Your period is late. You take a pregnancy test and look down to see two lines, not one. Shock, panic, and disbelief can all come flooding in. Some women may feel a glimmer of excitement before being flooded with other emotions and thoughts. You weren’t planning this. What do you do now?
Facing an unplanned pregnancy can be scary and overwhelming; however, not uncommon. Research is limited, but previous studies suggest that 40% of pregnancies in Canada are unplanned1. After the shock has settled, those facing an unexpected or unplanned pregnancy may feel one of three ways: happy, confused or distressed. More than likely, the way you feel about the pregnancy will change day by day or even moment by moment in the early days. No matter where you land, the one commonality for all who face an unplanned pregnancy is usually shock.
Although false positives are rare and over-the-counter pregnancy tests are generally considered reliable, it can be helpful to confirm your pregnancy with a doctor. A doctor can confirm your pregnancy test with a urine sample, blood test and or ultrasound. An ultrasound is the only reliable way to date your pregnancy so that you know how far along you are. Confirming your pregnancy may also help you to accept the reality of the pregnancy if you are experiencing feelings of unbelief or denial.
Shock is a normal reaction and response to an unplanned pregnancy. You may not feel any different and you won’t look pregnant yet, but seeing those two solid lines on the pregnancy test can send your head into a tailspin. Even for those who experience a planned pregnancy, fears, doubts and anxiety can be common. So it is only normal that these feelings may be heightened if you are facing an unplanned pregnancy.
Symptoms of shock can include2:
Because it is common to feel foggy and not be able to think straight when in shock, it is important to allow yourself some time to calm down.
when facing a stressful event such as an unplanned pregnancy, it is normal to be flooded with a variety of emotions. You may be experiencing, anger, fear, anxiety, sadness, excitement, dread, doubt and more. Start by acknowledging and naming what you are feeling. For some, identifying their emotions is difficult so using a list of feeling words can help you label what you are experiencing. It is important to allow yourself space and time to feel these emotions. This can be difficult to do, but will help you as you process your thoughts and options regarding your pregnancy.
Shock, anxiety and stress can actually impair our decision-making skills3. So, it is really important that in the face of a stressful situation like an unexpected pregnancy, that you give yourself the time to process your thoughts and emotions. This can help to calm your inner state, giving you a clearer mind when making your decision.
You may need to give yourself permission to take a break from thinking about your pregnancy for a few hours or even for a day. Consider engaging in an activity that is nurturing or at least brings a level of healthy distraction. Making a conscious choice to take a mental break will give your body and mind a chance to rest and be restored which in turn can lead to better decision making. Caring for yourself includes sleeping, healthy eating and getting some exercise which may be as simple as going for a walk. Do your best to resist unhealthy coping behaviours. They may give you a measure of temporary relief but in the end will be harmful to your mental and physical health.
Making any decision quickly in response to our emotions, especially fear, can result in future regret. To try and avoid such regret in regards to your unexpected pregnancy, it is important to be informed on all of your options before making a decision. A Pregnancy Options Support appointment at First Place Options can help to answer the questions below and more:
Click here to book a free Pregnancy Options Support appointment today.
As you process through your options, it can be helpful to visualize each option. Take a day to consider and sit with only one of the options and see how you feel and what surfaces. Consider the next option on the next day and the final option on the third day.
If you choose abortion, how do you think you would feel in 6 months, 1 year, 5 years?
If you choose adoption, how do you think you would feel in 6 months, 1 year, 5 years?
If you choose parenting, how do you think you would feel in 6 months, 1 year, 5 years?
How you may feel one month or 6 months after a certain decision, may be different to how you may feel 5 years or more after that decision. This is important to think about as you make your decision.
Unexpected pregnancies can leave you feeling alone and uncertain about who you can turn to and talk to as you figure out what you want to do. At First Place Options, we offer free, unbiased support and medically accurate information, to help support you as your process through your options. Our counsellors do not judge, give advice or tell you what to do, because the decision regarding your unexpected pregnancy is only yours to make. Instead, we provide a safe place for you to explore the thoughts and emotions that you may be grappling with, irrespective of which option you choose. Book a free appointment with a counsellor today.
No matter what option you choose: abortion, adoption or parenting. The counsellors at First Place Options are here to walk alongside of you as you navigate the stress and overwhelming emotions that can come from finding out that you are unexpectedly pregnant.
[1] Amanda Y. Black et al. “The Cost of Unintended Pregnancies in Canada: Estimating Direct Cost, Role of Imperfect Adherence, and the Potential Impact of Increased Use of Long-Acting Reversible Contraceptives,” Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology Canda 37, no. 12 (2015): 1086-1097, DOI: 10.1016/S1701-2163(16)30074-3
[2] Alice Boyes, “What is Psychological Shock? And 5 Tips for Coping,” March 6, 2018, https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/in-practice/201803/what-is-psychological-shock-and-5-tips-coping
[3] Erin Bunch, “ A Neuroscientist and Therapist Explain How Anxiety and Stress Negatively Impact Decision Making,” October 2, 2021, https://www.wellandgood.com/anxiety-stress-decision-making/
First Place Options
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Phone: 613-228-7475
Email: info@firstplaceoptions.ca
First Place Options
Smith Falls, Ontario, Canada
Phone: 613-228-7475
Email: info@firstplaceoptions.ca
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First Place Options offers free, non-judgemental, compassionate support.
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Our pregnancy and counselling services are not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice and professional counselling or therapy. We are neither a medical provider, nor an abortion service provider.
